What was your New Year’s resolution for 2018? Did you achieve most of them? You are a woman and you are designed for great success (successes) and accomplishments. Just like anyone, women need goals and a plan of attack. Here is a list of 5 goals every woman should have for herself in 2019.
1. LOVE YOURSELF
First of all, you don’t need any clarifications from any being to love yourself. What everyone should understand is that loving yourself is not at all selfish, and there is nothing wrong with putting yourself first.
Admit it, we have an uncontrollable need to please people. I guess that is also the nature of human beings, we tend to want people to like us in return. We put others first because we hope they would reciprocate the same amount of kindness back to us.
Thus in loving you, we need to recognize the value of self-love in order to further improve our own quality of life. We, ourselves, must define our own beauty. Your beauty is not up to the guy you’ve been crushing on, or your mom. We shouldn’t wait until “you lose weight” to finally love the idea of being you. NO. It’s time to love the body you are in right now. Allah SWT has created us in different, yet unique body types; accept it, embrace it, and live.
What my mother always tells me, “start with what that makes you uniquely you”. Sometimes, I feel like I am not like the daughter my mother has painted in her head, but I love the fact that my mom simply accepts me for being that I am now.
I don’t always wear jewellery, not because I don’t like jewellery or diamonds, because I do. I have just never been exposed to wearing them as I am always ok to get my hands dirty.
You may love the fact that you look tough and you feel strong, yet at the same time, you are still lady-like despite how “tough” you might think you feel. This is what makes you uniquely you. If “strong girl” happens to be my identifier, I’m honestly okay with that.
In loving ourselves, we must also change our “self-talk”. Especially that little voice in your head that more often than not criticizes you when you made a single mistake. Let’s think back and ask yourself… You wouldn’t even talk that way to someone you love, so why say it to yourself? Swap that negative self-talk voice you have residing in your head into something more positive and more uplifting.
In loving yourself or in this case, by putting yourself first, have you ever thought of pampering yourself? A little pick-me-up over the weekend or even an hour or two breaks just so could have some peace and serenity. I just recently came across someone who would pamper herself every once in a while and that envies me a little because I need to be doing that more often. Sometimes we fail to realize that we too need some “pick-me-up” and we deserve a little break once in a while. This is to let you know that both comfort and well-being are important. It’s fine to put yourself first. Whenever you feel tired after a long day at work, sit down and take a break before making dinner or doing chores rather than just pushing through.
Loving yourself can also mean being able to be really comfortable in your own skin because we all still struggle in terms of looks and body. We should be comfortable being alone in everything that we do. A friend of mine still gets really anxious whenever she goes to the ATM especially when she realizes there are people queuing behind her, which often resulting her in not going at all.
2. LIFE CAREER
We should not settle when it comes to our life career. We have come to the era of us being the breadwinner and not depend on 100% purely to our husbands or any male relatives in our families.
Let’s break free from the traditional thinking and strive to aim higher and breaking through the glass ceiling.
It’s been the time for us women to lead and be a leader. There are so many better and higher positions fit for women. If you think about it, where were all the struggle and sleepless nights we went through throughout our university lives? We gravitate towards that one job that was only available for us at that moment and time. We should aim and strive for the job that is right for us that we are qualified for, and are paid at an appropriate amount.
When it doesn’t feel right, when you are not happy, and if you feel deep down in your heart and that little voice in your head telling you to leave, then leave. It’s a risk, but at the end of the day, you, yourself are the only one who knows what is best for you. At the end of the day, it’s all about making ends meet, even though you don’t have a family of your own yet, you still have parents and siblings to feed. Even if they don’t really need your financial support, in Islam, giving back is one of the most important and modest things you could do to your family.
3. TRAVEL SOLO
With not settling with your life career choices, it enables you to travel. That is the dream for everyone, correct? We work for a living and it’s only natural that we crave a week or two off of work, or even just a weekend getaway. I admit I envy those who get to travel ever so often regardless if it’s because of work or simply because… they can.
Ever since I started working this year, and earning, I told myself as well as my parents that I’ll travel alone. It doesn’t have to be far at first. Just neighbouring countries which then will lead me to grow more confident in travelling more than 8 hours away from home.
While I was away in Japan, I found myself needing to be alone at times. I remember back when it was Ramadhan and I needed something to help me kill time, so I resorted to taking a walk a discover different cities in Japan. I remember I ended up walking to Ikebukuro, which then led me to a “mini” city theme park where most of the locals were in their cosplay costumes.
When you travel with other people you spend a considerable amount of time looking after them and be mindful of what they like or what they need and so forth. However when you’re by yourself, you have no distractions and in turn, you can really enter into the moment, be in the moment.
In meditation, it’s similar to the idea of being comfortable in your own skin. Only, in meditation, here, is being comfortable by sitting alone doing nothing and be with your own thoughts.
Have you ever just sit in a coffee shop, order your favourite drink or even try a new drink perhaps, take out your phone or your iPod listening to some R&B soul kinds of music and pull out your current favourite book? To me, that is my version of meditation. I meditate by being by myself, eating alone or even by going to the movies alone. One time, I went on a road trip alone, I just found myself driving from one end to the other and just drove away with my thoughts. It’s the little things in life like these that helps makes you breathe and look back to your life. More like a reflective motion towards your life.
Yes, you read it right. Building confidence is important, especially in this day and age. It will definitely show people your worth, especially at work. It will show your employees how valuable you are and it’ll make you stand out from the rest. Again, relating to the previous points, with building your confidence, try going to the movies alone, or even going out to a restaurant, take up a hobby that is out of your element. With that, by conquering that will help you believe you can do anything.
Believe in yourself, because deep down, you know that you can. You just have to switch off that inner voice you have in your head and learn when you should take a stand.