The “You’re too sensitive” retort should be retired. If I were to be a guest judge on a debate competition, and someone uses that kind of retort to rebut, I would probably lose interest right then and there. For someone who was once being called for being unemotional, I feel like I can relate with this article. I remember growing up, and I would question why or what was it that made my cousins, my mom, aunts, and even friends crying and weeping their eyes out after watching The Notebook or even Titanic. For years I never shed a tear after watching what was labeled to be one of the most tearjerker films.
Just imagine, after years of my high school life people around me has been praising how brilliant The Notebook was, so there I was. Alone in my room, finally watching the movie and there were no tears that seep through my eyes. I remember almost laughing at the fact that I don’t find the movie sad or tragic.
So here we are, ask yourselves, have you ever been called for being too sensitive or even too emotional? Before we start, let us examine the word, emotional. In this day and age, emotional is a word that is often used to insult someone for their sensitivity. Take, for instance, if you cry happy tears, you are emotional, and when you express your feelings and even your thoughts of what has been bothering you, you are sensitive. Too sensitive, we can’t win.
When you are being called too emotional and too sensitive, it’s an attempt to at once dismiss your feelings while also turning the tables and making you to blame, guilty for myriad things such as finding fault with another’s actions, or for having thin skin, but most importantly, for bothering the offender with your feelings. Have I finally made sense now? Sit back and think, has anyone ever done that to you? Has anyone ever just simply dismiss your feelings just with a flick of the wrist, all because they couldn’t be bothered to apologize for offending you or even dealing with your feelings right there and then?
Thus, more often than not, they will resort into saying, “You’re too sensitive”. In a way that translates to as “I don’t respect you”/ “my feelings are more important than yours”/ “I don’t want to deal with you right now”/ “I don’t care/love you to take you into consideration”/ “I don’t care about you” in disguise.
Blaming someone for being too sensitive dismisses their reality as being irrational and immediately paints them as a victim. It tells them how they should feel, too. Most importantly, it turns a positive trait into a personality defect. It is, in my opinion, one of the most pointed and destructive insults you can hurl, which of course gives it so much power.
The next time someone accuses you of being too sensitive, read between the lines. Think about the situation and what they’re really saying. Use their accusation to assess the situation. From what I have learned, don’t immediately react to their response. There’s a quote that I came across some time ago, that says,
“Teach your mind to calm down in any situation”.
We too, have to remember that our own feelings, inasmuch must be honored. “Listen to your gut”, they are telling you something. Listen.