There’s a fine line between those who work hard and those who look like they are working hard.

When you think about this statement, surely you might be asking, is there such a thing? Because those who work hard and those who looked like one is one and the same. This is confusing and pointless, you might think, so I’ll get to the point; and hopefully you’ll see the purpose of taking this matter into consideration and be aware of such situations and arising behaviour in everyday life.

I’ve encountered several observational experiences during functions, particularly wedding ceremonies. In fact, I’ve recently been to one as a guest. In my culture, the bride’s families and relatives would usually wear the same coloured traditional dresses to differentiate themselves from other guests. So while I was sitting around, waiting for the function to go on, I had noticed that some of the members of the families were running up and down, yelling at their relatives to get things done. It is kind of understandable that they did this because they themselves might have been pretty busy at one area, and had realised belatedly that there were some other things that needed to be done immediately in another area.

As shocking as it sounds, it’s easy to recognise if a person is making an effort or just pretending. Showing off that they are in charge is possibly one of the ways to recognise such behaviour. It was then that I found myself thinking, why do people do this? What would they gain from pretending? Who were they trying to impress? These relentless questions seemed to be unanswerable.

In the wedding ceremony, and a few more which I’ve attended before, I could see a distinct pattern of behaviour in a member of the hosting family, who thinks they’re doing a great job of being in charge.

1. Making unnecessary changes

They keep ordering around their family members to make unnecessary changes in the name of perfection, though it none of it would even directly affect the flow of the function. For example, different gifts were to be put in separate or specific goodie bags, and if it’s not as expected, members of the family would need to rearrange everything in coordination. It’s trivial as eventually, people would just accept the gifts they’ve been given.

2. Being authoritative

Everyone loves being in command. Having authority would mean they’d get to be in control of any situation and get things done to perfection as they wished it to be, complete with their belligerent manner. A host in charge, especially with a dictatorial attitude would love to command people to get things done their way when they could have done it by themselves. However, being a “boss” would mean they feel no need to get their hands dirty.

3. Yelling at others for doing what they’re being told to do by other members of the families

This one speaks for itself. In connection to the above behaviour, when things don’t go as the “boss” had expected, they refuse to accept it and make others change things when things were already more than halfway to being done.

From what I’ve mentioned about the pattern of behaviour above, these people usually perceive that they’re doing the right thing, and doing things right when they don’t realize that it only creates chaos beneath the surface. While it’s temporary chaos as things would always turn out to be all right (eventually), the ones who have to endure the pain are the other members of the family.

Such hostile attitude can happen anywhere, especially in a workplace; and this idle person masquerading as a hard worker, could easily get away with things. That’s not only pathetic, it’s devious and sadistic, and the whole workplace could get in jeopardy if no one takes this seriously.