The day every girl dreams of. The day, you could wear a tiara and a poofy dress and the most sparkly dress the world has to offer without being judged because you are the queen of the day. Yes. That day, is your wedding day. I hate to pop your bubble, but before all this could happen, planning happens.
No matter how early you plan for it, be it a year or two ahead of time, some things just do not go as planned, and this is unavoidable. I wish someone could have told me this earlier, but I am here to announce to everyone that things more than often does not always go as ABC.
To me personally, attending weddings with a grand atmosphere gives me the shivers or even goosebumps. Whenever the couple walks down the aisle, we will sigh “ahh. what a dreamy wedding”. I, on the other hand, who is just a few days away from my wedding, yet, still wonder what my dream wedding should really look like. Should it really be grand to be dreamy? Should I really scrap to the edge of my sofa to find all the penny in my house to make it look dreamy? Should I invest in grands of money to make the dress? Boy, I still don’t know. I could have thought by now that I know what I want, but I’m just a 5-year-old living in a 26-year-old body. Even a 5-year old knows what she wants! I am clueless.
Well. For all you bride and groom to be, here I have listed down some trials in life that you might be facing. Especially when you’re about to embark on a whole new journey of life called marriage.
Number one, you will be tested with doubt with the partner you are with.
With a wedding, there will be a lot of things to do – more than you could imagine. For normal average people like me, I do things from scratch. I find my own suitable media graphers, I design my own dress, I find my own entertainment services and all that. Frankly speaking, it is too much to bear for one person. Especially a woman like me who is very particular, I don’t trust people to do my work, so I like to do things my way. I do things my pace which can be very hefty.
These small things will build up to form stress which will eventually make you act like a bridezilla. It will start making you think whether your partner is doing ‘enough’. This will create sparks between the couple, and the second-guessing game will keep looping in your mind before you sleep.
With all this, it will make you think – is he really the one? You will start to question your choices and search for flaws in the littlest thing and fight your way through it. Littlest things like, why is he not helping? Why is he not here with me? Why is he always late? Is he not the one? Is he really the one? Tell me. When will you ever know he is the ONE?
Dear readers, he is the one once he has popped out the question of making you as his wife. He is the one once you hear him say, “Aku terima nikahnya…”, when translated, ‘I accepted the marriage with (insert name)’. Only by then you can say, “he is the one”. Throw everything else, pray and focus. All this will pass, and you will feel at ease once again.
Number two, people will get attracted to you more, or in a more commonly used phrase in Malay called ‘darah muda’.
When you are getting married, people start to find you appealing, or maybe in a more common sense, because of the doubt you have in your mind, you will start to feel others look more attractive. This will be one of human’s biggest struggle if you face this. Going back to the question, is he the one? The choice is yours. Either you want to make yourself feel that he isn’t the one because he betrayed you or the way around, or you make things work and make this as a lesson learned. A lesson learned for not making the same mistake after marriage. Take it as a blessing in disguise, some people might face this after marriage, but because you do now, you might take this as a lesson learned. If not, then, all decisions lies on your hand, or to be precise, at the tips of your mouth. You either storm it off from this syaitan’s decisiveness or, you lose the battle.
Number three, finance wise.
Now, you see, last year was my first time receiving a huge amount of money I made out of my own effort. With that, I collected the money and I wanted to fund this wedding all byself. No more daddy’s angel. No more asking money from my mom. I am very determined. While I actually can ask help from them, but I will make this as a challenge and a proof to everyone out there that I can, and I will tackle this big step of my life by myself. You must have think that I am crazy to have decided that this is the right time to be an adult. I mean, when can I ever be an adult than not this? Taking responsibilities of my own and owning up to what I want. Yeah. I sounded very confident. But, having a wedding in a hotel with hundreds of people, with more than 3 events, excluding entertainment services, who am I kidding? I just got a job 2 years ago.
It is okay that you can’t afford to pay for everything. It is okay to ask help from your parents if you know it will not burden them. They don’t want to see you suffer as well. It is okay to loan from the bank, although it is unadvisable, but darlings, it is okay to get married even if you only have a few hundred dollar to spend in a month. Don’t be ashamed. We all need money and we all need help. The most important thing is that you know you can pay them back.
Number four, the disagreement between two families.
It’s already hard to keep up with our own family, now we have to deal with two.. or actually, when your aunt and uncles started to get involve, well, you’ve to deal with a lot! This is the time, you have to make the decision with your own hand. Stay firm but gentle. Know what you want, so people know what they can provide you with. But tradition will always be a priority, no matter how much of a modern wedding you want it to be, in our culture, you’ve to have a sword to skip that part. One family might have a certain tradition we need to follow and one might not. This is where it will start getting tense. Know what you want and everything will go to place.
I may not be an expert, but I know we are all trying to head to a marriage live. Not the wedding day itself. We are suppose to strive to be a better wife or husband. Not a better form of body shape, better wedding stage or dress. I, shamelessly admitted, that I have failed to realize this until I am writing this. To all bride to be, remember, this might be your only day to splurge on every penny of your pocket or wallet, but, this is the day of happiness where it is suppose to be about marriage. We all should be happy planning for the day that we’re looking forward to since we were little. Live life to the fullest and good luck to all future brides out there.