Now that you have a handful of close friends in your life, have you ever thought how in the world did you make that possible? Have you ever thought, “wait a minute, how did I befriend my best friend?”, or “how did we manage to stay friends for 12 years?” or have the train of thought of how to make new friends ever cross your minds?
Now that we have reached our twenties, and indeed we all have gone through the different types of experiences of that “work-life”, and even prior to our first day of work, we all have to go through “finding your own tribe”. That’s just it, isn’t? Making friends now is strenuous; it’s not exactly the same as how we did back in elementary school.
I remember back when I was in primary one or even when I was still in kindergarten, it was so easy and simple for me to make friends. All I had to do was introduce myself, “Hi I’m Zee, and you are?” And that was it, as easy as ABC. Even when I first entered high school, I remember it until now. The first day I entered high school; my parents were there to send me off to class… pause for reaction.
Yes, my parents sent me off to my class on my first day of high school. I felt like a cub separating from the first time from her coven. What came to mind was how I befriended a girl who was sitting right next to me. It was recess and she looked at me, and I looked at her and we both knew instantaneously we were going to go the canteen to buy drinks together. And that’s what we did.
Being almost a year in the educational world, I have witnessed how children actually befriended the other, especially those as young as primary one. I once saw a friendship grow just from sharing food so one of them could have the last piece of chicken nugget during break-time. From sharing food, to actually eating their breakfast together during recess was enough for children’s friendship to grow and flourish. Or even by seeing a child sitting alone was enough to invite other children to bring them out to play. Children are so pure and uncontaminated, they don’t see colours of one’s skin, they don’t see race, they just simply see humans. When they see a child is crying after being scolded by a teacher, they would ask the said child to see if they are okay. As the late Whitney Houston once said, “…the children are the future”.
Children make it so easy when it comes to making friends. Even by playing football or tag during recess, they can immediately expand and diversify. Yet, comparing it to us, it’s not just strenuous, its complex to make friends.
“Find your tribe, love them hard”. As we grow older, I find that it’s really essential for all of us to filter out the people in our lives. When we are in our twenties, we are still growing, and we are excessively fragile beings, we are bound to get hurt, but most of all, the twenties are when your life’s officially just starting.
“Enjoy yourself, that’s what your twenties are for! Your thirties are to learn the lessons, your forties are to pay for the drinks!!”. – Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and The City.
But why is it making friends, when you’re an adult, are hard? When we are adults, we only have a handful of friends, we don’t exactly have many friends, but rather acquaintances from work or even from the gym you go so often. Because the reality of the matter is that, finding real and truest friends takes time.
Take, for instance, you and your best friend of 12 years. 12 years is not short, it takes time and patience to be with someone; someone who will always be there for you to laugh at your lame jokes, someone who will sing karaoke carpool with you on not-so-long-rides and basically, someone who will have your back even when you are drowning above water.
I will tell you one thing that maybe you have heard before in passing; you are considered very lucky if you have friends that have been there for you since you were in elementary school. You know you are winning when your close friends are considered family by your own families. That being said, by only having two closest friends or even having them being your relatives as your best friends, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that people you trust and love are surrounding you. Because, “what is the point of having so many friends but when you’re at your lowest point, not even one of them is there for you?”.
I pray whoever is reading this will be constantly blessed with His richness and may you never experienced heartbreak from friendships.