Relatives, friends and acquaintances are getting into relationships, getting engaged and entering a life of matrimony left and right, and there’s the rest of us, who don’t seem to be settling down with anyone anytime soon. A colleague is getting a home, and your old schoolmate’s just given birth to their first child. There’s this expectation that builds the older one grows, and once you’ve passed a certain age, it seems like that’s the only thing anyone can ask you about these days, especially when you turn up at engagement and wedding ceremonies alone.
They ask if you’re not afraid of being alone, and they look at you meaningfully (sympathetically) when you insist that no, you’re fine, you’re not looking and there’s no reason to feel bad, even as everyone else is pairing off around you.
They look at you as if you’ve somehow failed in some way.
And maybe you were influenced a bit by their words. Maybe you might have thought there was a bit of truth in their comments.
But here’s the thing, though.
There’s no one, singular path that everyone’s supposed to take. Everyone’s got different pit stops and curve balls in their lives, and it doesn’t matter what everyone else’s goals are, because you’re trying to reach your own right now, and that’s what’s really important. And if you’re achieving them alone without anyone by your side, that’s completely okay too. Walking to your own beat and following a road where you don’t seem to come across anyone else is, I believe, a phase that everyone needs to go through once in a while on their own, if only for the experience and the self-improvement that evidently follows you once you’re out of the woods.
There’s a certain kind of strength and bravado that a lone wolf carries within them that’s admirable in many ways. They are, at times, ruthless and fearless, and yet completely cautious about what or who they let into their lives. Their personal space matters incredibly to them, and it takes something special to be able to enter that, because they understand that they are worth more than a few flaky dates or a relationship that’s going nowhere. They know that they have no need for anyone else to complete them.
While it’s also completely okay to be in a relationship, that doesn’t diminish the fact that it’s also okay to be alone. You can have it both ways; it’s not as if one is more inferior than the other. But what we need to understand is that contentment and fulfillment should not be found solely in the words and arms of another. That it’s fine to be able to spend time on your own and be fully content with your own company. That it’s okay to wait, because the rest of the world awaits you.