It’s human nature and totally normal to feel insecure, whether it is about your physical attributes, characteristics, money, education or even career. Often too much, we think too much of what others say about us and it makes us feel as though we are never good enough. We start to self-doubt, your self-esteem and confidence will go down and you’ll feel like you can’t bounce back up again. Let me tell you this, stop feeding into the negativity around you!
Where do these insecurities come from? The root of it that made you question your self-worth and gave you, even the right to compare yourselves with others. Let me tell you this, comparison makes finding contentment a million times harder, trust me. I know. Everyone has their own flaws and insecurities, in reality, it’s a matter of how they respond to it. I do agree that things sometimes are easier said than done but, one thing we all should put in mind is when you see a flaw, someone else might see it as something unique about you and you should own it!
We’ve spoken to some beautiful women about what they’re most insecure about and how they’ve managed to deal with it.
“I always feel as though I am not good enough and that I will never be. I’m the ugly duckling in my family, especially because the colour of my skin is darker than all of my fair-skinned siblings. It started when I was a little girl but it didn’t bother me back then, until I grew up. My family, my grandparents and my relatives would comment on how different I look, and not the good kind of different. They would offer suggestions on what products I should use to look fairer. I’m always being compared to my other siblings. What’s wrong with being dark-skinned? It affected my confidence level and sometimes my aunts refused to acknowledge my existence on purpose”.
“I always try my hardest not to care about what others think of me. Luckily, my significant other helps me a lot by supporting me. I love being me, to be honest. When I’m being criticized, I just try to make a joke out of it”.
” I’m really insecure about my big hands, mostly my fingers. It is odd but they’re really big! I started feeling insecure about it when I started to realize that I’ve gained so much unnecessary weight and I started to wear rings daily. I guess it has made me feel diffident to wear jewelries and let people see how big my hands are in pictures”.
“I’ve tried to just tell myself that I deserve to enjoy jewelries just as any other girl, and if anyone wants to look at the rings on my fingers, I should just let them see it instead of holding it back, what is wrong with having big hands anyway… right?”.
“I’m insecure about my body structure… sometimes I feel like as though people are talking about how big my lower body is. I think I started feeling about it during my teenage years, as I grow older, I grow bigger. I’d have to think twice before getting some new pants. It’s quite upsetting when I find a really nice piece but doesn’t fit, it makes me feel uncomfortable shopping around when there’s a lot of people around”.
“But I do think shopping online helps, and going out to the shop itself alone, it’s actually quite stress relieving. So after a while, I managed to convince myself that it’s normal, that I’m probably just shopping at the wrong store *laughs* and of course, doing some workout every now and then helps too”.
“My problem would be my thighs. Ever since I was little, I’ve always had big thighs, but I started to really get insecure about them during my late teens. Big thighs create this disproportionate look on my body, or at least I think so, and it makes me feel less confident about myself especially when I wear jeans or clothing that accentuates the curves. It makes it a little bit harder to wear certain styles without putting some attention on them”.
“All this teaches me to choose my outfits carefully and I try to find new angles to pose when I take pictures in an attempt to hide them”.
“Having lack of knowledge; not knowing enough. I want to pursue my PhD but I’m scared of not knowing what others already know, I’m competing with people with a lot of experience, more than what I have. Maybe even with half of what I know now! I try to do research often to be up to par, but I feel as though that it is never enough. Other candidates would already know what I don’t”.
“I started taking training programmes and courses as much as I can afford abroad. Courses that aren’t offered in my country, I would take elsewhere, even if it’s just for 2 weeks. Time really is valuable. It helps me compensate what type of knowledge and information I lack of.”
You basically have two options: one, to work around your insecurities, that is to avoid it, as much as possible, or two, confront them and owning up to it. Of course, both are difficult. The former will make it more difficult to live the life you want. The latter is even more difficult if you’re thinking short-term, but gets easier and great for you if you see it long-term. It’s normal to find it hard to force themselves to do things that make them feel uncomfortable, but it’s best to power through. As you are trying to adopt a balance of these two options, it’s best if you try to train yourself not to overthink. It’s a long-term challenge, that has a clear end goal in sight.
In all honesty, we are most likely our own worst critic and all our feelings come from our inner self. These beautiful women have their own way to face their own struggles, whether it is by laughing it off or get their own proper training. Without noticing, they answered to their own prayers. We need not to be too hard on ourselves and let the criticisms or that little voice in your head to affect you so much, because these little attributes that you have, signify you being you, so treasure it. Other people will eventually look pass it and accept it the same way you are.
Carrying people’s opinions only gives them the right to make it as a truth. Making them as our identity. It is up to us to discard this and discover our own truth because, we are, our true definition of who we are. We are imperfect and flawed. I am me, you are you, and we are all indeed beautiful.